Deepest Fear Revealed
by Potterworm
Summary: *Now Rewritten, see profile for details* What if the abuse Harry suffered at the Dursley's went beyond emotional? What if Professor Lupin never stopped Harry from facing the boggart that day in class? And what if his deepest fear was not a dementor?
1. Prologue

**Deepest Fear Revealed **

Summary: What if the abuse Harry suffered at the Dursley's went beyond emotional? What if Professor Lupin never stopped Harry from facing the boggart that day in class? And what if his deepest fear was not a dementor[Warning: child abuse

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, settings, ideas, spells, etc... It's all J.K. Rowling's. I'm not making any money off of this, so don't sue me.

Author's Note: This story is going to mainly take place during Harry's third year, however since this story will not be completely following the books, the prologue needs to explain some things that have happened to Harry before then. Bare with me because it is going to jump around a lot. Also, if you don't like the prologue, please don't stop reading, I promise the chapters will be MUCH more exciting and interesting.

**Prologue**

4 year old Harry Potter sat, hugging his knees, on his ratty mattress in the cupboard under the stairs at Number 4 Privet Drive. His eyes shone with unshed tears, from a nightmare he had just awaken from. You may wonder why an ordinary child would not be running to his parents at a time like this, for the proper TLC. The answer? Harry Potter was not ordinary. Not in the eyes of his Aunt and Uncle. His parents had been killed in a car crash because they were driving drunk when he was only one years old. Harry deeply wanted comforting. The nightmare had been filled with green light and a terrible menacing laughter. But he knew not to make a sound. Last time he had awoke after a particularly vivid nightmare, he had snuck up the steps into his aunt's and uncle's room. They had yelled horribly at him for waking the house up because of his freakishness. The next day, Uncle Vernon had beat him terribly with his belt. Harry still had the scars on his back.

And so, that is why, Harry sat silently shaking, fearing above all else that he would anger his guardians once more.

Unfortunately for Harry, his Uncle Vernon's temper grew as the years went on. And as his uncle's temper grew, so did the beatings. Harry began to get daily beatings and impossible amounts of chores. However, if he did not complete all of his chores, he was not fed… for days.

8 year old Harry was sitting in the corner of the room while his obese cousin, Dudley Dursley greedily opened his Christmas presents. Harry knew better than to expect any for himself. He had long since realized he was a freak who did not deserve to be loved. How could he not be a freak with the way he was treated? His job on Christmas morning was to sit silently in the corner and throw away the wrapping paper. He also was to serve food to his family. It was a great honor to be allowed in the room while they opened presents they told him. And he believed them.

11 year old Harry was shocked when his uncle sat him down to inform him that he had been accepted to a boarding school.

"Boy, someone will be coming to pick you up in one week to tell you all about this school you'll be going to, and to take you shopping. You're not to say anything bad about this family! What does it matter, you're probably thinking boy!? Well, you'll still be here for summers!!"

With that, his uncle left him, and Harry had paled significantly. He hadn't been planning on telling anyone anyway. He deserved to be punished when he did something wrong. But he didn't want anyone to see bruises and worry. His family acted strange the week approaching the visit. They fed him regularly, and he wasn't beaten. Not once!

During the visit, Harry met a very large man who called himself Hagrid. Hagrid explained that Harry was a wizard (while shooting angry looks at the Dursleys) and he told him of his past and all about Voldermort. The trip to Diagon Alley went well. Harry had been talked to by many people, but most of the time, however confused he was, he nodded, but stared at his knees, not meeting anyone's eyes. He flinched when anyone touched him, and he never asked questions, although he certainly had enough of them. Harry had been taught by the Durlsey's that to ask questions was a terrible thing, and it normally resulted in a beating from Uncle Vernon.

Hagrid left Harry at King's Cross Station with his ticket, hurrying off while mumbling something about dragons. Harry was very confused as he looked at his ticket. Platform 9 and ¾! There was no such thing. He was certain of it. Harry was fearful, because he had no idea what to do. He sat on a bench by platforms 9 and 10, hugging his knees and crying. It had all just been a cruel joke of the Dursley's, he was certain! None of it had actually happened. There was no Hogwarts… He sobbed into his knees, not knowing what to do. He was in a train station with no way of getting anywhere, with a large trunk and a hooting owl.

Suddenly he heard a girl talking loudly to her mum.

"Mum! There's a boy over on the bench and he's crying. I tried to talk to him, but I don't think he heard me. He's a Hogwarts student, I know it. He has a trunk and an owl!" the red-head girl said.

"The poor dear, I wonder what's wrong," she said to her daughter as she came to sit on the bench by Harry.

Suddenly, she touched his shoulder, and he flinched violently.

"Dear, it's okay. It's okay.." she said to him as he continued to cry. She cast a helpless look at the rest of her family before continuing.

"What happened?" she questioned concerned for the raven-haired boy.

It was hard to make out what he said between the sobs, but the family (7 red-heads were now standing or sitting by Harry) got the main idea.

"I… dunno what to do… 'm not gonna go… no platform… 's not there… I checked…I'm stuck here… dunno how to get anywhere…." he sobbed.

The woman comforted him and gave him a hug before saying, "Dear, it's okay. The platform's invisible to Muggles. It's there, you just have to walk through the barrier by 9 and 10. We can show you."

Then, for the first time since the family had approached, Harry looked up at all of them with a hopeful expression.

"Really?" he choked out.

They family all nodded at Harry. "Okay," he said timidly. He got off the bench and the family all introduced themselves to Harry and told them their ages. Fred, George, and Ron all started talking to Harry while Ginny hid by her mother and Percy walked off with friends.

"You were really upset back there! That must've been terrible not knowing how to get on the platform. I've never heard of that happening to someone before. You must be muggle-born." Fred said while they all looked at Harry expectantly.

"Ermm… sort of," he said.

"What do you mean sort of?" George looked curious.

"I'm not muggle-born, my parents went to Hogwarts, but they died when I was younger, so I..I was raised by muggles."

They all looked at him, "Sorry 'bout your parents. I guess that explains why you didn't know 'bout the platform though," Ron said.

Harry continued to stare at his feet as they walked along with the Weasley parents. Suddenly, Fred said, "I just realized you never told us your name… What is your name?"

Harry had been dreading this ever since Hagrid had told him of his fame throughout the wizarding world. Harry mumbled very softly, "'mHarryPotter."

"What? I couldn't understand you…" George questioned kindly. He could tell the first-year was shy.

Harry looked up at all of them and said rather quickly, "My name's Harry… Potter."

Suddenly the entire Weasley clan (including parents) stopped rather suddenly. Eyes wide, Fred said, "No way… THE Harry Potter?????"

Harry nodded timidly while the Weasley family stared in amazement.

"WHOA! Why didn't you tell us?" both twins said in unison.

Harry shrugged as they walked through the barrier together. He stared up at the Hogwarts express in awe while the Weasley's questioned him hurriedly.

"Were you really raised by Muggles? Do you really have the scar? How cool is that?…." the questions went on and on from the twins and he didn't know how to answer most of them.

Ron looked at Harry and said something really softly, "Wanna find a compartment with me?"

Harry stared at Ron with wide eyes. Someone actually wanted to sit WITH him! Wow…

Misinterpreting his expression, Ron said quickly, "Course if you don't want to, 's okay. I'm sure you have a lot of other friends.."

"No I wanna sit with you, I was just surprised," he replied.

The twins looked at Harry with risen eyebrows. "Why were you surprised?"

He stared down as he replied. "I dunno anyone, I figured you'd be the one with lots of friends, and I was worried I'd have to sit alone."

All three stared at him wide-eyed. Fred and George walked off leaving Ron and Harry to find a compartment saying something that sounded like "Merlin, the boy-who-lived sit alone. Like that would happen. Must be shy."

(Author's Note: The rest of the events of first year went exactly as in the book except, Harry is much more nervous when talking to people and he flinches when people touch him sometimes.)

During one of the last days in the library before he was to go home for the summer, Harry looked up glamour charms in the library. He decided then that from now on as soon as he was on the platform or at Diagon Alley, each year, he would cast glamour charms so that no one would see bruising. He didn't want the awkward questions. He deserved what he got, but he didn't want people thinking it was really bad. He had also purchased Muggle concealers through Owl order so that he could use them during the summer. Harry wasn't sure exactly why he wasn't telling anyone about his home life, except for the fact that he knew he deserved to be treated how he was. Harry was still surprised that Ron and Hermione wanted to be friends with a freak like him, but he wasn't 'bout to question it, and he certainly wasn't going to ruin it by complaining to them about his family. No one would understand, he was certain of it.

"I'll take this secret to my grave," he thought to himself.

(Author's Note: Harry's summers and 2nd year were entirely canon except that Harry was continuously beat by his Uncle and was more shy around people.)


	2. Chapter 1 Professor RJ Lupin

**Chapter 1**

**Professor R.J. Lupin**

Harry sat in the compartment with Ron and Hermione as the Hogwarts Express took them to their third year at Hogwarts.

"I wonder who that is," Ron said indicating to the sandy-haired teacher asleep in the compartment.

"Professor R.J. Lupin," Hermione replied instantly.

"Do you just know everything?" Harry joked.

"It's on his case," she said pointing to the inscription.

"Oh," Harry said looking down at his knees. He had suffered a particularly bad beating that day before his uncle had finally driven him to the train station, and he had a feeling his ribs were broken. It hurt to breathe. The bruises were concealed by his clothes and a charm he had cast, but that didn't stop the sharp intakes of breath.

"You okay, Harry?" Ron said for Harry had gasped in pain.

"Yeah, fine…" he mumbled, not meeting Ron's eyes.

Concerned, Hermione added, "You know, you can tell us anything, Harry."

Harry looked up into his worried friends eyes and said with a fake smile, "I'm fine guys, really."

"Okay," Hermione said in a voice that told them all she knew he was lying.

They all started chatting about everything from the Chuddley Cannons chances of winning a Quidditch game ("They will win! They're a great team!" Ron shouted!) to the recent escape of an Azkaban prisoner. Sirius Black had murdered thirteen people with a single curse according to the article Hermione showed them in the Daily Prophet.

"Bloody hell, and he's escaped!" Ron said.

Harry remained silent as Hermione began to lecture Ron about using profanity ("and in front of our new Professor, Ronald!").

Suddenly, an icy cold gripped his breath. The lighting in the compartment flickered suddenly, and then they were all plunged into darkness.

A black cloaked _thing _glided into the compartment. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. Violent screams echoed in his ears! They gripped his soul, his very being. The terrible screams filled the room as he lost consciousness.

Suddenly blurred figures moved above him. He groaned. "I think he's waking up!!!" a voice said loudly.

"Yes, I'm waking up!" he snapped. "What happened?" he questioned as he got himself up off the ground. _'When did I get on the ground?'_

"Err… their was this thing that came in…and… err…. I don't really know how to explain it…" Ron said glancing over desperately to Professor Lupin.

"Harry, the 'thing' that came in was a dementor that guards Azkaban. The dementor was searching the train for Sirius Black," Professor Lupin said with a sigh. Harry looked around and realized he was in the compartment and Professor Lupin, Ron, and Hermione were all watching him.

"But… what is a dementor? Who was screaming?" Harry questioned confused

Professor Lupin began to speak as he passed some chocolate to all of them, "Dementors are some of the foulest creatures of our world. They suck the happiness out of everything, and make you feel as though you can never be happy again," he said with a shudder. "You can eat that by the way. It'll help," he said indicating to the chocolate. "Dementors make you relive your worst memories. So… the screaming is one of your memories."

Harry paled significantly when he said that. '_It couldn't be… could it?'_

"Harry, are you okay? The screaming…" Hermione said with a grim expression.

"I'm fine," he said a little too quickly.

Hermione clearly wanted to know what the memory was. He could see that much from her expression, but there was no way he was telling her who was screaming. He wasn't even sure himself, though he had his suspicions.

Hermione began to say more, but Harry interrupted her. "Hermione, no. You don't see me asking you what you heard, so don't ask me!" he sniped. Hermione blushed perfusley. "Sorry," she mumbled.

"Okay, so what happened then," Harry continued.

"Well, the dementor came in and sort of looked around," Ron said. "At least I think that's what it was doing. And then it got really cold and…" Ron shuddered. "And well, you sort of fell out of your seat and passed out and then Professor Lupin made the dementor go away."

"I passed out.." Harry said rubbing his eyes. "Bloody hell, don't tell Malfoy," he said with a fake chuckle, while really thinking, _'Why the hell was I the only one who passed out?'_

"Well, now that explanations are out of the way, I need to go speak to the driver. Harry, please meet me in my office once we get to the school," Professor Lupin added as he left the compartment.

"Wonder why he wants to meet with me…" Harry questioned staring at his knees. He couldn't meet their eyes.

"Dunno… that was awful before," Ron said.

They were rather quiet for the rest of the trip, not really knowing what else to talk about.

When the train stopped, they all filed off, and they heard the familiar voice of Hagrid as they made their way to the carriages. ("Fir' year' o'er here.")

When they reached the castle, Hermione and Ron made their way to the opening feast, while Harry made his way to the DADA office. (The walk was familiar, him having been there last year with Lockhart).

As he entered the room, he immediately groaned, upon seeing Madam Pomfrey

"I'm fine, Madam Pomfrey! You don't need to check me over, and no I don't need to stay in the hospital wing overnight," Harry grumbled.

Madam Pomfrey huffed and walked out of the room.

"Professor Lupin? What's wrong?" Harry questioned as Professor Lupin began to chuckle.

"Nothing Harry. It's just.. You reminded me of someone I used to know when I was at Hogwarts, the way you shooed Madam Pomfrey away. Sorry about that by the way, but I thought she should be here. I am a new professor after all," Professor Lupin said. "You are okay aren't you?" he questioned with a sudden worried expression.

"I'm fine. It was just…weird… but I'm okay," Harry said quickly.

"Okay, if you ever want to talk though Harry, I'd like that. You see…" he hesitated. "I knew your parents at school and, well, I figured I could tell you about them if you wanted me to," he struggled. _'Why would he want to talk to me? That's so stupid. But.. I do want to get to know him…'_

Harry's face lit up though. "You knew my parents!"

Professor Lupin nodded.

"I'd really like that."

Professor Lupin smiled, and then said, "Well, you should probably get to the feast now. Wouldn't want to keep you."

Harry got up from the chair and walked over to the door, but as he reached it, he turned around.

"Thank you Professor Lupin. You have no idea how much this means to me," he said and then ran down to the rest of the feast.

[Author's Notes Hi everyone! I hope you liked this chapter. It was a little boring, I know, but I was trying to keep the story close to cannon, so I needed to include the dementor scene, plus, it's important to the plot. Also, I meant to mention this with the prologue, but I forgot, so I'm saying it now: I apologize for making the characters seem extremely American, but I'm doing my best. I just am not good at making characters have the proper accent and all. (If I put Hagrid in this story anymore, prepare for his accent to be butchered. Just a warning… lol) Anyway, just wanted to apologize for that. Oh, and while I will try to update as much as possible, I might not update for the next couple weeks (though I'll try) because school's starting back up, and that's hectic in and of itself. Also, I LOVE when people review, so please review my story.


	3. Chapter 2 Contemplations of a Werewolf

Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter universe. If I did, do you really think I'd be writing fan fiction?

**Chapter 2**

**Contemplations of a Werewolf**

Remus Lupin sat in his office chair contemplating the meeting he had just had with his young student. Harry. Harry… Potter. He had never imagined a day when he would be teaching, let alone a day when he would be teaching James' son. His best friend's son.

He shook his head at the mere prospect, and yet here he was. Albus was a kinder soul than most, giving a job to him when no one else would. Being a werewolf, really doesn't look good on a resume.

You see, Remus Lupin was a werewolf, for as long as her could remember in fact. Having received the bite as a young child, he knew much of the prejudices and biases against werewolves. There was a good point to them. He did become a dangerous monster once a month. However, that was a point in and of itself. He was dangerous once a month during the full moon, not any other time. That was why Albus gave him a job. _"Why Remus, you would be a wonderful Defence teacher this year. No need to deny you a job as long as we take certain precautions. See you September 1__st__." _No one knew of his condition outside of the teaching staff. It would be … very bad for a student to discover- to say the least.

Remus was pleased the Harry wanted to speak to him and spend time with him. He wanted to know James' son. He would have adopted Harry had he been allowed, but the ministry prohibited werewolves from having or adopting children. It was a terribly prejudiced law, but a law all the same. Remus Lupin wasn't one for breaking rules, at least not anymore.

He thought about his meeting with Harry and what he had observed of him on the train. Harry had had quite a severe reaction to the dementors. If he was anything like James, he was worrying about how "weak" he was. Remus sighed. He had forgotten to explain that. Remus had no doubt that Harry was a powerful wizard, anything but weak. Harry had horrors in his past worse than most others.

Harry did seem to be a little like James. He certainly looked like him. However, there was something off… He looked skinnier than normal for a boy his age, and he had a vivid bruise on his arm that Remus had noticed when Harry had been looking the other way. Remus had thought of mentioning it, but, Harry was probably just clumsy……right?

Remus sighed once more. There was certainly something off. He had noticed that Harry was reserved and flinched when people touched him. Perhaps it wasn't what he suspected. But… Harry had appeared to have the weight of the world on his shoulders. A clear symptom of having a secret. He of all people would know.

So, Remus made up his mind right then and there. He would get to know Harry better. Get to know his friend's son. And he would observe Harry. To see…if Harry's appearance was a mere coincidence, or if there was something more sinister.

Remus certainly had a lot on his mind. Between meeting Harry, dealing with his transformations, and being a new professor, his thoughts were going a mile a minute and jumping all over the place too. '_Harry…essay to assign….full moon's coming up….oh yeah and prisoner escape from Azkaban…..bloody hell….' _he thought.

He got up from his desk to join the feast. He would most certainly be introduced to the students.

[Author's Note I'm really sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I've been quite busy with school and other things. I quite enjoyed writing a chapter all about Remus, but I'm not entirely pleased with this chapter. It's short, but I think it is important. I was going to wait until I had changed it around a lot before I updated, but I figured if I didn't update soon, I never would. I wanted to thank everyone who reviewed me. It means A LOT to me. Also, thank you to everyone who added me to your favorite stories/favorite author/story alert/ and or story update. It means so much to me to know that there are people out there who enjoy my writing.


	4. Chapter 3 To Know More

**Disclaimer: **Harry Potter is not mine…yadayada….belongs to J.K. Rowling….blahblahblah….don't sue me.

**Chapter 3**

**To Know More**

Harry slipped into the feast unnoticed while the sorting was going on. He slipped into an empty seat by Ron and Hermione. They gave him questioning looks but he mouthed that he would tell them later.

They all watched the rest of the sorting clapping whenever someone was sorted into Gryffindor.

Harry stared into space occasionally thinking of the meeting he had had with Professor Lupin. He seemed nice. It would be really nice to hear about his parents. All he had ever been told was that his parents were drunks who died in a car crash. That was clearly wrong.

Now he knew that they were magical, and that they were Hogwarts students good at charms and transfiguration. He knew what they looked like too, but still, he had a longing within him, to know more. To know more is all he wanted. So then, when he imagined his parents and himself it would seem proper. So it would seem right. It seemed to good to be true that Professor Lupin had been friends with his parents. The closest person to his parents that he had ever met was his aunt and uncle. It wasn't like he could go ask them what his dad's favorite color had been or whether or not his mum liked flying. The little things that mattered.

He stopped his musings when Ron elbowed him. He flinched without meaning to.

"What?" he questioned.

"Lost you there for a minute, mate. What did Lupin want?" Ron said with food in his mouth.

Hermione gave an exasperated sigh at Ron's manners… or lack thereof.

Harry glanced over, "Sorry," he apologized. "He wanted Pomfrey to look me over because of the dementors, and he wanted to talk to me about some stuff."

"Are you okay? You don't need to go to the hospital wing do you?" Hermione babbled.

"'Mione, I'm fine. Really."

"So what else did he really want to talk to you about?" Ron questioned curiously.

"He… he knew my parents. He wanted to know if I'd like to hear about them from him," Harry said with a soft smile.

Hermione gave a quiet squeal. "That's so sweet. Isn't that great Harry?" she said hugging him.

Harry started slightly and then smiled. "Yeah, it's great. Professor Lupin seems nice."

The next morning Harry and Ron rose from the dorm rooms. They scrambled off the DADA. It was their first lesson of the year and they were excited. DADA would be their favorite subject if they had a competent professor for once.

They met with Hermione in the common room and ran off to the third floor for their lesson. [A/N, I have no idea where the classroom actually is, so just pretend that's where it is. They entered the room and sat in the second row. All the students pulled out their books and quills as Professor Lupin entered the room.

"Hello class. My name is Professor Lupin and I will be your Defense Against the Dark Arts professor. This year we will be studying various dark creatures," he continued. "Any questions?"

And so the lesson went on. He told them about different dark creatures and touched briefly on what they would be learning throughout the year. They read the first chapter of the book and Professor Lupin assigned an essay for homework. He promised they would do some practical work soon, before dismissing them.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry walked into the hallway with the rest of the Gryffindors all chattering excitedly about the lesson they had just had. They may not have done any practical work yet, but it was still the best lesson they had ever had in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Professor Lockhart had been a complete git, teaching them his personal (fake) life story. Professor Quirrel [A/N Sorry I think I spelt his name wrong had been okay, but he was so nervous, so his classes had been average. Plus there was the unfortunate trait of having Lord Voldermort sticking out of the back of his head. Oh yes, Professor Lupin was a much better professor indeed.

The next week or so of school was average. Every day they went to lessons. They were tortured by Snape in Potions. They had fun lessons in Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, and all the other classes.

Harry was pleased because his injuries from the previous summer had been healing well beneath the glamours. He could once more breathe regularly, and when he took on the glamours in privacy, he could see the diminishment of the bruises. The only concerning part were the scars on his back from his uncle's belt. They just weren't healing on their own. It wouldn't be that big of a deal were it not for the fact that they had been spotted. Harry remembered the night clearly.

He had been changing in the dorm room when Neville suddenly walked in. Unfortunately for him, Neville walked in while his belt lashed back was still exposed.

_"Harry?" Neville said pointing to his back with a shocked expression on his plump face._

_Harry felt his heart beat increase dramatically, but he played it cool. "Yes?"_

_"Harry, what are those from?"_

_"Oh, I got into an accident over the summer. Fell into a glass table, I'm such a klutz. Been healing up nicely though, right?"_

_Neville hesitated, but then seemed to accept his explanation. "Shouldn't you go to Madam Pomfrey so she can heal them?"_

_Harry smiled inwardly at the quick acceptance. "Neville, you of all people know I spend way to much time in the infirmary. They're nearly healed by now, but if I went into the hospital wing, she'd hold me hostage for ages." He chuckled._

_Neville seemed concerned, but said "If you say so Harry," nonetheless._

Truth be told, that close call had scared him immensely. He wasn't exactly sure why he had lied, expect, they are his family. The Dursley's that is. The only family he ever had. Sure they beat him, but it wasn't that bad. If the truth got out, it would be terrible. The entire wizarding world would know he couldn't stand up to a muggle. His last living family would hate him…even more. He would have to go to an orphanage. He supposed the Weasley's would want to take him in, but they already had a huge person family. They didn't have room. It wasn't like he was family in need. He was just their kid's stupid friend.

The next morning at breakfast, he stumbled in late. He had had a long night filled with nightmares involving his uncle, a belt, and a whole lot of booze. Enough said.

He walked over to Gryffindor table and sat with a yawn next to Ron and Hermione. Neville, on the other side of the table, gave him a weary look, remembering their last encounter, but smiled anyway. Ron immediately began to talk about the first Hogsmede trip of the year. Apparently, it had been announced early this morning.

Harry was groaning at Ron's behavior.

Hermione seemed to pick up on attitude, because she motioned to Ron to be quiet.

"Harry…?" she encouraged him to speak up.

"I didn't get permission to go. Sorry you guys," he said. Truth be told, he hadn't even asked. To request to have a form signed for his (GASP) magic school would have been near sin in the Dursley's house. When he got the notice and permission slip with his form, he had groaned that he wouldn't be able to go, but had thrown the paper in the trash. No point in whining over the what ifs… right?

Ron on the other hand was gapping at him. "You can't go???"

Harry sadly shook his head.

"But, Harry, you HAVE to go there's going to be- oof" Ron said.

Hermione interrupted him, smacking him over the head. "Ronald, don't make him feel bad!!!"

Hermione turned to Harry smiling sympathetically. "It's absolutely terrible that you can't go Harry, but we'll be sure to buy you some stuff."

"Thanks 'Mione. I figure I might visit Professor Lupin while you all are off. He did say he'd like talking to me," '_I wonder why?' _Harry replied.

So, that is what he did. As Ron and Hermione headed off for a day of fun, he wandered off to Professor Lupin's office. He felt rather stupid, but _he had offered_. So that must mean it was okay.

Nevertheless, he stood in front of the office door hesitant to knock. It seemed his presence was noted, because suddenly Professor Lupin came up from behind him.

"Hello, Harry. I was just coming back from the library," he said kindly, while thinking, '_liar! you were getting Wolfsbane from Severus.' _

Harry seemed to be debating something with himself, so Remus nudged, "You wanted to see me."

"Yes, well, I didn't have permission to go to Hogsmede today, so….well….you," he struggled. "YouhadmentionedabouttellingmeaboutmyparentsandIwaswonderingifyoucouldtellme aboutthem?" he said impossibly fast. "I mean, if that's okay?" he said with a hard to describe look in his eyes.

"Harry, come in. I'm free today also, so I'd love to tell you about them," Remus replied gently. _'Why is he so nervous around me?'_ he wondered.

So, Harry went into the office of the werewolf professor. Remus began to fulfill a gaping hole within Harry as he began to tell him all about his parents.

"I was very close with your father and a boy named Peter by the 1st day. We met on the train," Professor Lupin began, purposefully leaving Sirius out. He had no desire to mislead the boy, but telling him about the betrayal of his parents by his godfather, the recent Azkaban escapee would lead to nothing but heartbreak. So he told a very revised version of the year. The mauraders were 3 students in his imaginary world. It should have been that way in the first place.

Professor Lupin spent many hours telling Harry everything from James's Quidditch success ("He became a seeker in his 2nd year. He was so nervous for the try-outs. Didn't eat almost anything for a week) parents to his parent's relationship. ("Lily couldn't stand James for the longest time. They finally went out in 7th year. He nearly cried when she said yes. He had been asking her out for over 3 years, mind you.)

It was just as the day changed to night that they realized how long they had been there.

"Well, Harry, you should probably get back to your common room now. Ron and Hermione should be returning soon," Professor Lupin said indicating to the clock.

Harry smiled brightly, and replied, "Thanks Professor Lupin. I liked hearing about my parents."

"I enjoyed telling you about them Harry. Didn't your aunt ever tell you about them, though?"

Harry's face paled significantly at the seemingly innocent question however. "Ermm…. A little… but….my aunt is a Muggle you see… and she doesn't know much about my mum's time at Hogwarts," Harry replied, lying poorly. His aunt hadn't told him _a little. _She hadn't told him anything, unless you count lies.

Remus' face seemed to cloud by the response, but he replied, "That makes sense then. If you ever have any questions about them, come to me."

Harry got up from his seat and went to the door. Before he left however, he said, "Thank you so much Professor Lupin for telling me about my parents. It's nice to know more…." he said letting his thoughts drift off.

[Author's Note Not a very eventful chapter, but I enjoyed writing it. Plus it had a lot of character building I think. I'm dreadfully sorry it took me so long to update, but I had a nasty bit of writer's block. (Must have been the Nargles.) And I wanted the chapter to sound better before I posted it, so I spent an extra week on it. I mostly only type on the weekends though. I'll try and update within the next two weeks. For those of you who are wondering, the boggart scene will either be in the next chapter or the one after that. I haven't decided yet. It depends on what I dream up.


	5. Chapter 4 Partial Truths Revealed

**Disclaimer: **Are my initials J.K.R. Am I a literary genius? Am I filthy rich? Have I graduated high school yet? As I have answered no to all of those questions, I think it's safe to say I don't own the Harry Potter universe.

**Chapter 4**

**Partial Truths Revealed **

"I don't like this at all, Albus! What kind of family doesn't tell their nephew about his deceased parents!? He was lying. I could tell. Lily wrote Petunia almost every week when we were in Hogwarts. She does know all about Lily's time at Hogwarts!" Remus said pacing through Albus's office.

"Remus, I understand your suspicions. You have told me them before, but there is absolutely no evidence. I'm afraid there is nothing that can be done unless young Harry confides in one of us," the headmaster replied.

Remus sighed in resignation. If he needed to talk to Harry, he would.

Ron awoke that night to a near blood curling scream from Harry. Suddenly, the pitch black room was flooded with light as everyone got up to see what had happened. Ron struggled over to Harry's bed and ripped the curtains out from around the bed. Harry was thrashing in his bed terribly.

"Harry! HARRY WAKE UP!" Ron shouted trying to hold down his friend.

Harry moaned loudly, louder than Ron knew was even possible. Suddenly, Ron thought of an idea.

Grabbing his wand from his nightstand, he pointed it at Harry and muttered Evenerate. (A/N I'm not sure if that's a spell they knew it third year, but whatever.)

Suddenly Harry looked around, his eyes seeing something beyond the dormitory. He backed frantically into his headboard, his eyes wide with fear.

"I'll be good, I swear I'll be good. I won't scream anymore. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry," he muttered looking around the room as though looking for possible exits.

"Harry?" Ron whispered softly. He touched his friend on the shoulder to wake him up more. In the background Seamus, Neville, and Dean stood wary, wondering what was going on.

Suddenly Harry yelped as he looked around. "'m sorry Uncle. I won't do it again. I'm sorry."

"Harry, it's me, Ron," he murmured all the while wondering what the bloody hell was going on.

Suddenly Harry blinked repeatedly. "Ron?" he asked, his voice still hoarse from screaming.

"Harry, you awake now?"

"Yeah, what are you doing in my bed?" Harry joked, trying to take the attention off himself, painfully aware everyone was staring at him.

"You were having a nightmare," Ron started.

"Oh, thanks for waking me then," Harry replied quickly.

"You were screaming bloody murder. Like you were being beaten or tortured," Ron said, not taking the hint that Harry didn't want to talk about it. "Then, I woke you up, but not really. You were sort of delirious. And Harry," he said, not sure of how to continue.

"Hmm?" Harry looked at him calmly. But, he was anything but calm. His heart was beating wildly. And he just might hyperventilate if Ron said what he thought he was going to say.

Ron sat there though, unable to say what he was thinking.

"Harry," Neville began stepping out of the shadows. "You looked around, and you thought Ron was your uncle. You sounded," he whispered, "_scared_."

Harry laughed slightly and said, "Why would I be afraid of my Uncle Vernon? I was freaked out from the nightmare is all," he added, for good measure.

The boys exchanged looks that Harry could not decipher, but they seemed to believe him.

"Okay, Harry," they all said as they headed back to sleep.

Harry closed the curtains around his bed and stared at the ceiling. Just thinking. Of course he was scared. That had been total lies he had just fed his friends. Whenever he woke up his Uncle Vernon because of screaming during a nightmare, he beat him. Ironically enough, the nightmares, for the most part, were of Uncle Vernon beating him. It was a chain reaction that could not be stopped.

Beats me…..nightmare….beats me for having nightmare…..more nightmares….. It never ended.

Normally he didn't have nightmares of the beatings at school, but he had had a terrible on just before coming back. It was painfully on his mind.

That was the closest his friends had ever come to finding out his secret, and it scared the crap out of him. They couldn't know! It was so embarrassing. They would hate him. Surely they would.

The next morning he woke up and got ready for the day. When he walked down to the common room, he saw Hermione and Ron whispering together frantically.

He cleared his throat as he approached. Instantly, they went dead quiet. So they were talking about Harry it seemed.

"Hi Harry, ready for breakfast?" Hermione said looking at him with concern.

Harry eyed her suspiciously. Surely Ron had told her. Ah, well, if she was kind enough to not speak of it, he wouldn't bring it up.

"Let's go Hermione," he said.

Ron, Hermione, and Harry headed out of the common room, down to the Great Hall. They waited for the staircase as it moved around. When they reached the Great Hall, they sat down and started serving themselves in silence.

_Awkward silence. _

Hermione waited a few minutes as though she expected Harry to say something. When he didn't however, she cleared her throat. Harry glanced over and stared at her, waiting for her to say something. When she didn't, he continued eating, but Hermione didn't seem to like that response.

"Ha-rry," she whined.

Harry looked up and raised his eyebrows. "Ye-es?" he whined back in the same tone.

"Harry," she said, her expression softening. "Ron told me," she continued.

"Okay," he said.

"Well, Harry," she said, sounding as though she was struggling on how to continue. "He told me about how you were thrashing and screaming. And when you woke you were pleading practically, saying how sorry you were. And you were apologizing, to you uncle," Hermione said.

"And I told them that I was delirious from my nightmare," he said. Hermione made a noise like she wanted to interrupt, but Harry beat her to it. "And, no I don't want to discuss my nightmare with you," he said, his tone making it clear that this conversation was over.

But Hermione wasn't done talking so it seemed. "Harry, I don't know how to ask this, but I think I need to. How…" she swallowed deeply. "How… is your home life?" she said and looked at him with sincere eyes.

Harry's heart beat wildly. He had had to lie about his home life, but never directly to his friends. Well, first time for everything.

"Look, Hermione, I've told you before, I've never gotten along with the Dursleys. You know that. But, it's fine, okay?" he said, swallowing hard.

"Harry, I talked to Ron," she said, as Harry glared at him. "He told me, well, that on the first train ride, you said that you slept in a cupboard," she said.

Harry sighed. "Look, I said they were horrible, but you are both overreacting. They have been a lot nicer to me as I got older too," he added, trying to sound convincing.

"But, Harry? Did they really make you sleep in a cupboard?" she said with an expression he couldn't bare to lie too. It would be pointless to lie anyway. He had already told Ron that ages ago.

"Well…. Yes…. But it wasn't that bad. I really don't want to talk about it," he added. "Ever. It's embarrassing."

Little did the trio know, but the extremely tense serious conversation had unwittingly gained the attention of several teachers at the head table. Professor Snape was staring at them with an expression that practically dared them to break the rules. Professor McGonagall stared at them with a look of concern. Professor Dumbledore's eyes had stopped twinkling slightly. And Professor Lupin paled at seeing the distressed look on Harry's face. Several of the other Gryffindor students that were awake were glancing nervously at them while eating their breakfast.

It may not have bothered Harry later to find that everyone had been watching them, were it not for what Hermione blurted out next.

She shrieked loudly, "BUT A CUPBOARD HARRY!? A CUPBOARD!?"

It seemed she didn't even realize how loud her voice had been because as several heads snapped in their direction she blushed profusely. But not nearly as much as Harry.

He looked around and upon seeing all of the heads staring at him, he fled. He ran to the Great Hall doors and swung them open. As he ran out they slammed loudly. He ran all the way to the common room his sides aching slightly.

He muttered the password before going up to his dorm and collapsing on his bed. That was THE most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him. And the single worst thing that Hermione had ever done to him. How dare she? He said he didn't want to talk about it, and she SHRIEKED it for the whole Great Hall to hear. Upon looking back on it, he realized that perhaps fleeing was not the best reaction. Now it was sure to bring about the attention of the rumor mill for a few days… at least. Crap. She hadn't meant any harm he knew, but…. My god…. Could this have gone worse?

He turned on his back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. No tears would fall from his eyes. It seemed to be hours later, but in all actuality, it was probably 10 minutes later, when Ron poked his head in the room.

"Mate, Hermione didn't mean to make you mad," he started.

Harry rolled over to look at him, and he sat up, "I know."

"She didn't mean to embarrass you."

"I know."

"She wants to know if you're mad at her."

"I'm not."

"Then why are you sitting up here?"

"Just because she didn't mean to embarrass me, doesn't mean I'm not embarrassed."

Hermione suddenly burst into the room. "Harry, I wanted Ron to talk to you first, but I can't take it. I'm so sorry!" she cried.

"It's okay Hermione," he said hugging his knees.

"Harry, I was just upset. That's so awful that they kept you in a cupboard. I didn't mean to say it that loudly though!" she said.

"It wasn't that bad. Hey, it's why I'm not afraid of spiders," he chuckled, making light of the awkward situation.

"Harry, why didn't you tell anyone?"

"I told Ron," he said indicating to the left of her where Ron stood.

"Harry, you know what I mean. An adult. One who could have done something. That could be considered abuse or neglect."

"Hermione, they know. The professors. My Hogwarts letter was addressed to the cupboard under the stairs. It's not a secret. It's just not something I wanted all of the Great Hall to hear about."

Hermione looked like she was about to apologize again, but Harry beat her to it. "It's fine. I said it's fine."

"Okay," she said. "I don't know if the professors realize you lived in there though. And…Harry, I know this is embarrassing, but the cupboard is all, right? That's all?"

"Yes," Harry lied through clenched teeth.

"Well, I hate to ruin the moment, but, we're going to be late for class," Ron said suddenly.

"Oh my gosh," Hermione said running to her dorm to get her books.

10 minutes later, they all found themselves in their second DADA class of the year. Professor Lupin walked in a few minutes later. He shot a worried glance towards Harry, but upon seeing his calmed face he relaxed, vowing to ask him about _it_ later.

"Class, today we are going to be having a practical lesson. We will be learning about boggarts. I have managed to secure one, in a wardrobe for the purpose of this lesson. If you will, follow me," Professor Lupin said, leading them from the room.

They walked for a few minutes and then entered the staff room.

"Now who can tell me about boggarts?" he questioned stopping in front of a wooden wardrobe in the corner of the dreary room.

Hermione raised her hand, as she always did. She recited the answer, almost word for word from the book. Professor Lupin smiled and awarded her five points.

"That is correct Hermione. Now, everyone line up here. You'll all have a chance to face the boggart individually."

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and the rest of the Gryffindor students lined up to deal with the boggart. They all closed their eyes, wondering what their deepest fear would be. Harry could have sworn he heard Ron muttering about spiders. Harry, personally, had no idea what his would be.

As they got in a single file line to deal with the boggart, Harry ended up near the back.

They went through the line. Ron's boggart was in fact a giant spider. When it came time for Harry's turn, he could have sworn Professor Lupin was staring oddly at him. But ah well.

He approached the wardrobe, and it seemed his deepest fear began before the door even opened. A voice rang out in the classroom.

"BOY! WHAT ARE YOU MAKING ALL THAT NOISE FOR?!" the voice roared. All of the class looked around in confusion, not recognizing the voice. Harry, did recognize the voice of course.

He paled.

Uncle Vernon.

His boggart was about to leave the wardrobe, and with a sinking heart, he realized that his entire DADA class would know his deepest fear was his uncle.

And with that…

[Author's Note I'm so mean aren't I. This time my cliff hanger consists of cutting off in the middle of a sentence. Evil cackle

I've been working hard on this chapter. I do apologize for the long wait. I had planned on posting this LAST weekend, but I just didn't have time to update. And I couldn't just post an author's note to tell you my update would be late, since that's against the rules. I figure, better a late good chapter, than a rushed quick chapter.

This chapter is clearly one of the most important in the story and most definitely the climax. Harry's gotten careless, and people are starting to wonder. Before anyone mentions one thing I put in the chapter, I'm going to say it here. I know it seems unrealistic, that Harry, who was hiding abuse all his life, would have still told Ron about the cupboard on his first train ride, but I have an explanation. Here's Harry. New to the wizarding world. Just made his first friend. He never really knew many people in the Muggle world. (Damn Durlseys.) His letter was addressed to the cupboard under the stairs. So really, he doesn't think he needs to hide that. He figures, if the professors know, it must be normal, and okay. He doesn't realize at the time, how horrible just the cupboard itself was. Now, that he's older, he does. And he doesn't like talking about it. He still thinks the professors know. But he's gotten to the point where he realizes it is in fact odd. I hope that explanation will hold off any comments about that that I foresaw.

I would also like to say that to anyone who is wondering about Sirius, don't worry. I am in fact planning on writing him in. I'm…just not exactly sure how yet. But he will make an appearance within one to three chapters.

I want to thank all who have reviewed me. I know I don't reply to many reviews, but I do appreciate them. Feel free to review this chapter. I most certainly hope it lived up to the expectations, being the most important part and all, but if you have any good constructive criticism I'd love to hear it. MORE REVIEWS would be loved. Short, long, it doens't really matter. I plan to update within one to three weeks. My other story, guilt and grief, should have a new update soon. Check it out if you haven't read it. I think it might be even better than this one. It's another abuse story.

I have edited out the major author note from the middle of the chapter, as people thought it was a bad idea. I replaced it saying Hermione said the answer. I would just like to personally thank Alexis8907 who sent me a very detailed PM at my request explaining how to edit chapters after having posted them. Thanks so much. She also sent me a sent me a very good review with great critisism. Much appreciated.


	6. Chapter 5 Not Caring

**Disclaimer: **I really don't see why these are necessary. Everyone knows J.K.R. is the one who wrote the series, and clearly I am not her, for if I was, I wouldn't be posting this story on a website, I would be selling it, and making more money. Alas, as I am still without much money, I guess I am not she.

**Author's Note: **I just wanted to say, I noticed that I made the lesson be different from how it was in the book. In this, my story, the boggart retreated back into the wardrobe between student's turns. I didn't even realize I had written it that way at first, but I did, and as it is rather important to the story, I'm keeping it that way. I just wanted to make it clear how boggarts work in my story, so there would be no confusion.

**Chapter 5**

**Not Caring**

_And with that …_

he muttered Ridikulus loudly causing the voice to stutter slightly. But he couldn't seem to come up with a happy enough way to turn the voice into something else. It continued to roar.

He debated what to do in those split seconds as the boggart inched out of the wardrobe. He muttered the spell more forcefully, but his fear must have been evident, because the voice roared "BOY" louder.

And so, he fled. What else could he be expected to do? He ran out the classroom door. He thought he heard shouts of "HARRY!" as he ran, but he didn't care. He ran all the way to Gryffindor common room and muttered the password frantically to the portrait. He took the steps two at a time up to his dorm, not caring that he had just ran out of class. Not caring that everyone was probably talking about it. Not caring that Professor Lupin was sure to question him. Not caring that his boggart had nearly become Uncle Vernon. Not caring why his deepest fear was his uncle. Not caring. He didn't care at all.

He had gotten good at lying to himself over the years.

_'I deserve these punishments.' _

_'The Durlsey's care about me.' _

_'They love me.'_

A quarter of an hour later, Ron Weasley approached his dormitory. He knocked on the door to warn Harry he was coming in. He was positive Harry was there. There was no response but for a shuffling of feet. When he went to open the door handle, he found it was locked.

"Harry?" he murmured through the door.

No response.

"Harry?"

No response.

"HARRY!"

"Oh for Merlin's sake, WHAT?" Harry shouted with an odd meekness in his voice despite his aggression.

"Harry, you know what," he said. This was not his type of situation, but he needed to do something.

Harry opened the door a creak and Ron caught sight of his black mop and green eyes staring out.

"Are you okay?"

"Fine," he replied curtly.

"Harry, why did you run out?"

"Boggart," he said dejectedly.

"I know that," Ron whined. "But why did you run?"

"I…I couldn't get the spell to work, and I kind of freaked out. Stupid, I know?" Harry said with fake abashed tone. It most certainly was not stupid pride that made him run. It was fear.

Ron hesitated to ask, but he wanted to know. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and then he blurted, "Well, what was your boggart?"

Harry raised one eyebrow at him before closing the door straight in his face.

Ron knocked several times, but Harry did not answer. And this time, he wouldn't open the door.

He left, dragging his feet.

Harry stared at the ceiling above his bed for hours. DADA had been his last lesson for the day anyway.

At dinner, Ron and Hermione were surprised to see Harry sitting dutifully at the table in the Great Hall. They hadn't expected him to show. Quite frankly, he hadn't planned on it. But then he realized. He was a Gryffindor. Shouldn't he act like one?

Hermione sat down, clearly trying to hide her shocked attitude. Ron, well he was less subtle.

"Okay mate?" Ron asked. And he meant it in more ways than one.

"Yeah.," Harry replied. _He_ most certainly was not okay. But _they_, were.

Hermione just glared at Ron's tactlessness and then smiled sweetly to Harry. "Professor Lupin was worried. He wants to talk to you about what happened."

Harry gulped. He knew Lupin would want to talk to him. He knew he had to talk to him. But, that didn't mean he had to like it.

In that instant, Professor Lupin entered the Great Hall. His eyes swept the room. When green met amber, Professor Lupin gave Harry a look saying 'We need to talk about what happened.'

Harry just turned away.

But he knew Professor Lupin would talk to him eventually.

And he wondered what he would suspect.

And he wondered what he would say.

And he wondered if he knew.

And if he did, what the hell was he going to do?

[Author's Note This chapter isn't that good. But, I had this horrendous case of writer's block for so long. So, now that's I've come up with an idea, I decided to go with it. I just realized, it has been almost a month since I updated. I AM SO SORRY. I, being an avid fan fiction reader, know how horrid it is when an author doesn't update. I am truly sorry. I had writer's block and, I was very busy. What with Halloween, a trip my family took, a gigantic project I had due for school, an essay I'm writing in literature class, and club stuff for extra curricular activities, I've not had a chance to write before tonight. Plus, it seems my parents have noticed my incessant fan fiction reading/writing so they have decided I need to spend last time on the computer. Sigh. I hope this chapter wasn't too horrendous. For those of you who are disappointed the class did not see Uncle Vernon boggart, and just heard it, I apologize. However, if the boggart had become Uncle Vernon there, quite frankly, the story would be over too soon. Plus, very straight forward. I liked it better this way, so…. shrugs shoulders Oh and I know it's short, but hey... I wanted to post something rather than wait another week.


	7. Chapter 6 Talk About It, Or Not

**Disclaimer: **I am writing this fan fiction for fun. I am receiving no payment, nor will I ever receive payment. The Harry Potter universe belongs to J.K. Rowling and anyone who is lucky enough to Polyjuice her or put her under Imperious. (shame shame on you)

**Author's Note: **I just want to say right now, the next several chapters are going to deal more directly with the affects of the abuse and talking about what happened. I am trying my best to pen this story in a realistic fashion, and I do hope I am doing it justice. Truth be told, I have no experience with abuse, personal or impersonal. All I know of the issue of abuse stems from a few episodes of the TV show Degrassi and other Harry Potter fan fiction. If I do mischaracterize something or offend you, I hope you accept my heartfelt apology. Abuse is not a joke, I know that, so I will do my best to create realism to this serious issue. Thanks for reading, it means a lot to me.

**Chapter 6 **

**Talk About It, Or Not**

As Harry finished eating his pudding, he rose from the Gryffindor table. Harry nodded goodbye to Ron and Hermione as he left.

Hermione looked up from her Arithmacy book and said, "I'll see you in the common room."

Ron, murmured a goodbye with his mouth stuffed with food, warranting an eye roll from Hermione.

Harry had nearly reached the ornate doors when, unfortunately, for him, Professor Lupin spotted him. Professor Lupin approached from behind and put a hand on Harry's scrawny shoulder.

He flinched, not thinking to censor his reaction. He prayed Professor Lupin hadn't noticed.

His prayer was not answered.

Professor Lupin's face seemed to crumple before him. "Harry, I need to talk to you, in my office."

"What for Professor?" he feigned confusion, while inwardly trying to not hyperventilate.

"Harry…" he said, his expression pained.

Harry sighed, resigned, and headed towards Professor Lupin's office.

He practically drug his feet the whole way while Professor Lupin shuffled him to the office on the third floor. Normally, Harry liked talking to Professor Lupin. Last time had been great, hearing about his parents. This time, however, he was _not _looking forward to this conversation.

Harry ran through the possible outcomes of the conversation. Maybe Professor didn't really suspect anything and just wanted to scold him for running out of class. Maybe he wanted to talk about making up the assignment. That was, a better outcome, he guessed, but he really didn't want to have to face the boggart again. Especially not in front of the class, or even just Professor Lupin. But, maybe, he'd get to redo it alone, and then no one would know.

The truth was, he didn't want them to know about his boggart, because that would lead to questions, questions he couldn't answer. I mean, sure,

But, if Professor Lupin did suspect something, maybe he could just feign clumsiness. '_Yeah, yeah, that might work.'_

But, bugger, did Professor Lupin know he was on the Quidditch team? It'd be pretty hard to fake clumsiness if he knew he was practically a star athlete. But, maybe… he could just make a little speech. Manipulate it a little.

_'I know it sounds odd, but flying for me is like breathing. Just like my dad. It's when I get on the ground that I get clumsy. It's like I have two left feet.'_

_'Hmmm….sounds good…. Throw in something about my dad. Yeah, yeah, that'll work.'_

Professor Lupin kept one eye on Harry the whole walk to the office. He seemed to be deep in thought….

When they reached his office, they both sat down, and Professor Lupin began to speak. "Harry, we need to discuss what happened in class earlier today."

"I am really sorry for running out of class. I was being stupid, couldn't handle the boggart and I freaked a bit. I should've stayed, but I was embarrassed, because everyone else handled the boggart. Don't worry, I won't run out of class again," Harry rushed.

Professor Lupin held up his hands in a sign to stop. Harry suppressed a flinch.

"Harry, while I'm not exactly happy you ran from class, it's okay. You won't be punished. I'm here to talk to you about your boggart. We should discuss why you had problems with the spell, that way you can do well on exams," the professor maneuvered the conversation positively like a Slytherin.

Unfortunately for the professor, Harry was _nearly _a Slytherin for good reason.

"Professor, I know, but I wouldn't want to be accused of getting special treatment or tutoring because I am your friend's son, or worse, the boy-who-lived. I've asked Hermione to help me with boggarts. She'll be able to get me ready in time for exams," the raven-haired teen lied.

"Harry, it wouldn't be considered special treatment, I would tutor anyone who had problems."

"But, you know Hermione, she would be so upset if she didn't have the chance to help me."

Professor Lupin swallowed hard and asked what he had been trying to avoid, "Harry, what was your boggart?"

"A voice," Harry sighed, knowing it would be stupid to lie.

"Who's voice?"

Harry breathed deeply and began an elaborate tale.

"You see, I was with my cousin Dudley and my Aunt Petunia got this really scary horror movie. I don't remember the title, but there was always this horribly scary voice that started just before the axe murderer came out and killed a character. And we both got terrified. Plus there was a thunderstorm and the power went out, so ever since, I guess that's what I've been most afraid of," he said, weaving his tale. '_Not the most believable, but for improvisation…pretty good.'_

Professor Lupin's amber tinted eyes narrowed ever so slightly. He had lied to his own friends enough times over the years to know he was being lied to.

"Harry, I don't believe you."

Harry's eyebrows knit in a mix of fake hurt and confusion. '_He doesn't know. He doesn't know. He's just trying to get me to say something wrong.'_

"Professor?" he questioned.

"Pardon my blunt comment Harry, but I've been worried about you. You had a horrible bruise on your arm when I first met you."

"I'm clumsy."

"A hand shaped bruise…" Professor Lupin continued, his eyebrows high, daring Harry to lie.

"Why, Professor Lupin, were you staring at my arm?" Harry interrogated.

"I glanced at it when your sleeve got pushed up the first time I talked to you in my office," he truthfully conveyed.

Harry bit the inside of his lip. _'Doesn't know….doesn't know….no one knows….' _he inwardly chanted his mantra.

"Professor Lupin, it was very dark that night. Your eyes must have been playing tricks on you." _'Note to self, find stronger glamour charms.' _

Professor Lupin sighed warily. "Harry, I know you're keeping something from me. You can trust me, please I just want to help. If you tell me. Tell me the truth that is, I can help."

"There's nothing Professor, but thank you for your concern. If that's all, can I get going now, I need to work on my Potions essay?"

"Alright Harry," Professor Lupin said, admitting defeat.

Harry nodded to Professor Lupin as he headed towards the Gryffindor common room. His heart was beating erratically, and he took deep breaths to try to calm himself.

Harry dutifully said the password to the Fat Lady and entered in. No one was in the common room, oddly enough. Then again, it was a bit late.

He stared into the crackling fire sinking into the plush like arm chair. Professor Lupin seemed to….care? It left Harry completely bewildered. And yet, he knew, Professor Lupin couldn't really care. Adults just pretend to care, they don't really. He had actually tried telling a primary school teacher about the Dursley's discipline techniques once. She tried to help, and told him he would never have to go back there.

She lied. He did go back. And he never heard from her again. She avoided him in the halls, and she never looked him in the eye after that.

He sunk into himself and wrapped his thin arms around his legs.

_'Professor Lupin doesn't really care. He asks, and he acts like he cares. But, if I tell him, he'll act horrified, but it won't be with my punishments, because I deserve them. He'll think I'm terrible. I don't think I can handle that. I really don't think I can.' _

Unknown to Harry, Ron and Hermione were having a hushed conversation in the library.

"What was his boggart?"" Hermione said concerned.

"He wouldn't tell me. He said he was just embarrassed, but I don't think so," Ron replied.

"I know, that's not like Harry. He's not concerned about being the best, I don't even think he likes attention." she trailed off.

"Do you have any idea what his boggart was?" she asked.

"No."

"I think that he lied to us about the cupboard being all that was wrong. I mean, he's been really… off this year."

"Well, I mean, the cupboard obviously isn't all," Ron replied.

Hermione looked up sharply. "What?" she whispered harshly.

"Second year?" Ron looked at her confused.

"What about second year?" Hermione said, lost.

"You…don't know?"

"NO!" she screeched, warranting a glare from Madame Pince.

"We, Fred, George and me that is, had to rescue him from his bedroom. They had him locked in and were starving him. His trunk was locked in the cupboard downstairs."

Hermione's eyes widened.

"We used my Dad's flying car. That was before the Whomping Willow though. We unlocked him and all. He told us about Dobby."

"I know about Dobby, but he never told me of the rest," Hermione whispered. "What happened when you got him?"

"We got the bars of the window, and Fred and George got his trunk. He, bugger, I thought, he had a black eye at first, but, when I looked a second later it was gone."

Hermione's eyes held a glint of understanding. "Glamours," she breathed out urging him to continue.

"Well, then, we were helping him into the car, but he had to go back and get Hedwig. She screeched loud and all, then his uncle came in, and…" Ron's mouth formed a small o.

"What?" Hermione said.

"I, today, I thought I recognized the voice, Harry's boggart, but, I shrugged it off, I mean, how could I?"

"And?" Hermione said.

"I think I know why I recognized it now…."

Hermione and Ron both looked at each other as a wave of understanding passed through them.

"Oh, Harry," Hermione choked out. "He, he's been using glamours I think. It should be easy enough to figure out for sure, but I don't want to undo them in public, or… should we at all?" she questioned the moral aspect.

"We could go to a Professor," Ron suggested.

"Who though?" she paused. "Maybe Professor Lupin," she said, answering her own question.

"Yeah, he likes Harry enough, and he probably is worried anyway. Then, he can do the finite spell if he has too."

"Alright, we'll see him first thing tomorrow," Hermione promised.

Harry went to sleep late that night worries filling his mind.

Hermione wandered to the girl's dorm late that night, preparing herself for what could be one of the most difficult conversations of her life.

Ron stared at Harry sleeping. _'You could have told us. We would have helped you. We __will__ help you.'_

No one slept well that night. All knew the next day would hold troubles.

(Author's Note) Okay, I worked really really hard on this chapter. Unfortunately, it still is rather short, but, at this point, I'm just going to say it. My chapters are at longest going to be seven to eight pages. (This one is seven.) I apologize, I can try to drag them out, but that doesn't work, so….yeah.

I do hope you liked this chapter. I'm trying to convey everyone's reactions to what happened, so that's why I kept switching character views. (For those of you who like Severitus, I agree they are interesting, but this story is not a Severitus story. In fact, I plan to mention Snape as little as physically possible. Just a warning.)

Sirius will be coming into the story soon. I kind of wrote myself into a corner in the beginning with what I left out, so I'm working on writing him in. Trust me though, he's coming.

Normally, I don't reply to most reviews, or I reply privately, but I feel **CatWriter's** review for chapter 5 warrants a response here. (You can read it if you click the review link at the top of this page.) Anyway, CatWriter, thank you so much. As much as I love the 'great story' reviews, I love constructive criticism and that was by far the most helpful review I've gotten so far. Unfortunately, I could not hold true to the thirty five hundred word rule, and I probably won't for this story. Sorry. L However, I did work extra on this chapter to make sure it showed more than told. I added in a lot more after I read your review, and I do think it improved the chapter a bit. I hope you liked it, and I showed my potential as a writer. Please, please, I look forward to your opinion on the chapter. Please review. Thanks for all the compliments in your review.

Everyone, I still do appreciate short reviews, so don't stop. And, I read every single review I get, so even if I don't reply, I have read it…so please REVIEW!!!!!

Next update might be in a while, as I have neglected my other fan fiction (Guilt and Grief.) However, it should be within a month at the longest. (I can just hear the groans now.)


	8. Chapter 7 Secrets Not Meant to Be Kept

**Disclaimer: **Is this really even necessary anymore? Just in case, no… I do not own Harry Potter.

**Author's Note **Sorry for the lack of updates. I had an extreme case of writer's block. I blame the Nargles.

**Chapter 7**

**Secrets Not Meant to Be Kept**

A knock startled Professor Lupin from his early morning grading. Who would be here that early after all?

He rose from the stack of 1st year tests and opened the door.

He was faced with a paled Ron Weasley and a red Hermione Granger.

"Professor Lupin," she began instantly, with what sounded rehearsed. "I know you tried to talk to Harry after dinner last night. We haven't spoken to him about it, but I'm going to go with a hunch and say it went poorly."

He nodded, bewildered at his students' behavior. He didn't even bother to question how they knew he had attempted to talk to Harry. He had overheard enough conversations in the staff room to know Hermione was a smart witch. Possibly the smartest in the school.

"We have something to tell you. Well, Ron does, mainly, but," she trailed off nudging Ron on the side.

"Ermm… well, you see… I, we, well…" Ron stuttered. "We think the Dursley's are hurting him!" he blurted after a minute.

Professor Lupin was shook from his bewildered state and came to instant attention.

"What do you know?" he said instantly.

Ron and Hermione exchanged looks of confusion. They thought he wouldn't believe him, at least not this quickly.

"Err, Professor, you think so too? You believe us?" Ron said.

"Yes, yes, I've been worried about Harry for a while. Come in and tell me everything you know or suspect."

Ron and Hermione came and sat in the two chairs by Professor Lupin's desk. They all sat and stared at each other.

Hermione chuckled nervously. "I can't believe this is happening," she said as explanation.

Ron began the tale. "I met Harry on the train in 1st year. I was sort of upset about being poor. So to comfort me, he told me he lived in a cupboard. I didn't take him seriously, not really. I mean, a cupboard? Honestly. But, I thought it was nice of him to say. But I should have believed him. He was serious."

"Even so, we always knew the Dursleys didn't like Harry," Hermione said.

"But, I guess, me and my brothers saw the first really bad thing. The summer before 2nd year, Harry wasn't answering any letters. It turns out a house elf was keeping them from him," Ron said.

Professor Lupin's eyebrows rose. A house elf?

"Well, that's beside the point," Hermione said heading off any questions.

"When we, Fred, George, and I, came to his room that summer, he was barred in his room. Literally. And they were starving him. I thought I saw a bruise, but the next second, it was gone. I didn't realize it before, but I think he put a glamour on," he paused.

"A wandless glamour. I think he got a knack for them over the years," Hermione added in.

"And, I, in class with the boggart, I thought I recognized the voice, but I didn't realize until later, when I was talking to Hermione, why I did."

Professor Lupin leaned forward, his eyes urging the continuance of the story.

"Before we got Harry out of the house, his uncle came in. His boggart is his uncle… That's why I knew the voice."

'_Oh Harry. I'm so sorry. I should have been there.'_

Professor Lupin choked back tears for a moment before asking, "Is there anything else suspicious?"

Hermione and Ron exchanged glances.

"Harry never expects presents at Christmas. He was shocked in first year that he got anything. And, he used to flinch a lot when someone touched him, especially if you came up when he wasn't expecting it," Hermione said.

"And the other day, in the dorm, he woke up from a horrible nightmare. He was screaming like he was being thrashed, and then…" Ron hesitated.

"What is it?" Hermione prompted, eyebrows crinkling.

"I just realized, he probably was being thrashed…." Ron gulped visibly.

He shuddered and then continued, "and he woke up after I Evenerated him. Then, he didn't really seem to know where he was. He kept saying sorry Uncle."

Professor Lupin rubbed his eyes before standing up. "I've been worried about Harry's home life this year, but I don't have any proof. He lied to me about what his boggart was. I don't think he will admit to the abuse if anyone questions him, but I'll try. However, do you have any proof. Have you seen any injuries up close?"

They both turned to each other, and then shook their heads.

"Maybe someone in our dorm?" Ron shrugged helplessly.

"Maybe, maybe…" Professor Lupin trailed off. "Thank you for coming to me. You did the right thing."

_'I hope we did. Please don't be mad Harry. Professor Lupin isn't like other professors. He seems nice. And he'll help you. I hope. I'm sorry we told your secrets. Some secrets can't be kept. Please don't hate us,' _Hermione thought.

They both nodded before walking out, leaving Professor Lupin to his thoughts. As he sat down in his wooden chair, a light knock disturbed his musings.

He walked over to the door and opened it.

"Professor?" came the croaky voice of Neville Longbottom.

His eyebrows rose. This was unexpected.

"Come in Neville," he said warmly.

Neville sat in the open chair and looked around the room nervously for a minute.

"I… I don't know why I'm coming to you, but I think, you'll know what to do…."

"What's wrong?" he said, concern flushing him.

"Someone I know…is hurt….and I think they'll be fine….because they said they would be. B-But it looked bad, and they didn't want to go to the hospital wing. And they tried to make it seem like it was a joke and unimportant…"

'_Oh no. It's worse than we thought. '_

"How badly?"

"They said they fell into a glass table. His back was terrible."

"Neville, I know," he sighed. "I know it's important to keep quiet for your friends, but I need you to tell me who is hurt. This could be very important."

In that moment, Neville once again proved why he was a Gryffindor. Harry was his friend, in a way. He was a hero, for sure. And he obviously didn't want anyone to know. But, what if someone _needed _to know?

"It was Harry."

"Thank you for telling me Neville."

Harry looked around his dorm room. Ron wasn't there. That was odd. He usually woke up before Ron. When he walked downstairs he saw a nervous looking Neville (pardon the alliteration) walk by.

"Hi Nev,"

"Oh…hi Harry," he said flushing before hurrying away.

'_That was odd.'_

As Harry sat down at the table in the Great Hall, Hermione and Ron looked at him with weary eyes.

"Guys, what's wrong?" he asked. _'Why do they look so tired and worried?'_

"Nothing Harry. Nothing's wrong," Hermione said with a fake smile. _'You're not getting abused. Of course not. Nothing's wrong. Nothing's wrong…'_

"Hermione?" he said tilting his head. "You're not good at lying…"

Ron snorted for a moment. "Nothing's up mate. We'd tell you if something was wrong." _'If we could.'_

"Okay guys…" he said. Maybe he was just imagining it. That thought kept him calm for a moment, until he looked at the head table. Professor Lupin was looking at him with an odd expression. He obviously didn't realize Harry noticed his gaze. But Harry, looked close for a moment.

Pity.

He turned to his friends with a wave of cold fury, fear, and resignation all at the same.

"What did you do?" he said in a low tone.

They turned to him with a fake surprise.

"Wha rong?" Ron said, his mouth stuffed.

"Neville walks by me looking concerned, you guys look resigned, Professor Lupin looks…" he breathed harshly. "pitying" he hissed. "To many coincidences."

"What did you do?"

**Author's Note **Hope you all like it. Things are heating up. Please review!!!! Short, long, I don't care. Please just review.


	9. Chapter 8 Pretending

**Disclaimer: **Not my universe. I'm making no money from this story, sadly. One day, I'll be a published writer. For now, I stick to fan fiction. (And I'm loving every second of writing fan fiction.)

**Author's Note: **Obviously I'm not updating as much as I used too. I don't have a good excuse except for the plot bunny that was bouncing around for me. I focused on writing that one-shot, and it took me a few days to write. (It's title is But It Breaks Your Heart.) I know I posted that a while ago, but it seems the inspiration bug just wouldn't pay me a visit again. I'm posting this now though, so… here it is.

**Chapter 8**

**Pretending**

Hermione stood abruptly.

"Come with us," she said, dragging Ron with her. Harry followed, obediently, as she led them to the common room.

As they walked to the common room, a hundred thoughts flew through his head. _Who knew what they had done?_

As they flumped down on the couch, Hermione looked around. No one was there.

"Harry, Professor Lupin doesn't pity you. He's concerned. We weren't sure how to tell you this, and now certainly wasn't when we were planning, but…" she trailed off. She elbowed Ron slightly signaling him to speak. He coughed slightly, but jerkily nodded and began to speak.

"But, me and Hermione were worried about you…are worried about you."

His inward mantra beginning, Harry played it cool. "What do you mean? Nothing's wrong," he said, lying. Deep in his mind a voice was screaming at him, _tell them the truth. _But he hushed it.

"We, Harry… err…" Ron stuttered. _How do you tell your friend you suspect his relatives are abusive? _

Hermione took pity on Ron's troubles and worked up her Gryffindor courage to speak herself. "We are afraid for you Harry, because we believe the Dursley's are more than just emotionally abusive and more than just neglectful."

Harry began to protest but paused at Hermione's expression.

"Hear me out," she said forcefully. "You told me the cupboard was the only bad thing they did, but Ron told me before second year they locked you in your room and starved you. They never send you Christmas presents. You hate going home," she took a deep breath. "Harry, for Merlin's sake, you used to flinch whenever someone touched you!"

"Maybe, my family doesn't love," he sneered, "me as much as your families love you. Maybe they don't have money to spend on everything. But that doesn't mean they hit me," he said, teeth gritted.

"Mate, don't get mad," Ron started. "But the beggart, I recognized it as your uncle's voice. That's what got us thinking, and well…we went to Professor Lupin though, and told him what we thought. He was suspicious too."

"So you've been talking about me behind my back!" Harry shouted.

"NO! We've been concerned. So we went to a teacher for help. If nothing's wrong Harry, you won't mind removing your GLAMOUR charm would you?" Hermione said.

_'How do they know about those?' _

"I have no glamour charms on," he lied firmly.

"Then why are you so defensive Harry?" she questioned, concern in her eyes.

"I'm defensive because you're interrogating me!" he shouted.

"But, you have nothing to hide," she said, playing along.

Harry looked around the room distressed. He pleadingly caught Ron's wandering eyes, but the look clearly said he sided with Hermione.

"Look, I do have a glamour on," he began. It was the key to telling lies. Make them as realistic as possible, without being true. "I fell into a glass table over the summer," he said, sticking with the story he told Neville.

"And why didn't they take you to the hospital? That's a serious injury," Hermione said, not missing a beat.

"Because I didn't get injured that badly. I was just embarrassed about it," he said, truthfully, and yet, not.

Ron screwed his eyes shut tightly for a moment. Then he opened them and stood abruptly. He began to pace, causing their attention to be directed towards him.

"Mate, look, I rescued you with Fred and George. I saw how they treated you. You were locked in. There were bloody bars on your window. They had your stuff in a stinkin' cupboard, and you can sit there and say it's all okay? I think you had a black eye too. I don't get it. I don't get how you can look at us and tell us right to our face that it's just verbal and all. We're your friends. I'm pretty sure you wouldn't have made it that summer if it wasn't for me and my family. And all the other stuff we've been through. The stone and the chamber. Maybe we are overreacting, and I guess, if you tell us that now, I'll believe you. But I don't think we are, and well," Ron swallowed deeply. "You owe us the truth. You owe us that much."

Hermione stared over at Ron with respect gleaming in her eyes.

Harry stared over at them both. _'Where did that come from?' _

The…rant Ron had just had was certainly surprising in Harry's eyes. Ron was never a deep person, so what he said was strange. Harry heard all of his words and heard his pronouncement of friendship. But he also heard the accusations and the pronouncements of debt. And yet, didn't he owe them? Not in a monetary way or in services rendered, but in

honest-to-god truth and honesty. They were best friends, and in a way, he guessed Ron was right. He did owe him the truth. He was cornered, and lying to his friends was no longer an option. Not anymore.

He swallowed deeply. _How much to tell… What to say…._

"Look, Ron, I guess…"

Hermione looked at him encouragingly.

"I guess you're right. I do owe you guys the truth. But it's hard to… explain."

Ron stared over at him bleakly.

"We're your friends. We won't hate you," Hermione said, with a weak smile, practically reading his mind.

"I… look, I screw up a lot and all. I've done some pretty crappy stuff at home. I mean, compared to at home, I'm practically rule-abiding and all here. And well, I get punished. It's not a big deal, and it's not all that bad," he said with dead sincerity in his voice. "I get hit sometimes, yeah, but it's not all that bad. I mean, it's not illegal for guardians to hit you, so…"

"But Harry, does that mean there was no glass table?"

"Yeah, I mean, Uncle Vernon got smashed and a bit angry. I'm fine though," he said, still pouring in his honest thoughts.

"Harry, you had to put a glamour charm on to hide it. That's not normal!" she screeched.

He blinked at her. Ron and Hermione exchanged exasperated looks.

"Mate, we're gonna have to go to a teacher. Professor Lupin will help. He's call the aurors, and you won't have to go back there."

His breath caught. _Aurors. Other people knowing??? _His breath quickened with fear. He wasn't ready for other people to know!

There was a ringing in his ears, and he had the sense of falling, despite already being sitting.

A faraway voice was saying something that he could not hear. It was like the voice was coming from the end of a tunnel, and there was wind all about. His breath sped up.

"Breathe, breathe," he heard the voice proclaim.

He listened and put his head down and took deep breaths. _'It's all okay. It's all okay.'_

He didn't know how long had gone by. For all he knew, it was seconds or it was hours.

When he regained more awareness, he felt a hand on his back, rubbing soothing circles. He looked up with bleary, embarrassed eyes, to see not Hermione or Ron, but Professor Lupin.

He jerked upright and backed to the far end of the couch.

Professor Lupin looked at him. And he sighed.

"Harry, Ron came to get me," he said by way of explanation. "They were worried when you had the panic attack. They have told me that you need to tell me something," he said.

Harry glared over at them.

"But, they kept your confidence and said you needed to tell me yourself."

Harry stared over at them with confusion. He then spoke with a hoarse voice, "I said there's nothing to tell."

Hermione sighed with near pain in her heart. "Harry, if we're overreacting, and we're wrong, then Professor Lupin will tell us so. But, we're not just going to drop this, so you might as well tell him, even if it's just to get us off your back."

Hermione breathlessly sat down. Ron stared at him. Professor Lupin looked like he was restraining himself from saying something.

Harry didn't realize it then, but that was a defining moment in his life. For it is those types of moments that shape us.

He began to speak.

**Author's Note: **I hope you liked this update. Please review. If there are any questions at all about this story, feel free to mention them in your review or PM me. I will answer within a day or two most likely.

Also, I know my decription of a panic attack was not the most accurate, and the reason is, I've never experienced one, nor met someone who has experienced one. I hope you can forgive any discrepancies.

On a side note: If someone could please explain the beta process in detail to me, I would appreciate it. (PM me for this.) The basics, how you get a beta, what exactly they do, how you get them your story, etc? I'm not looking for volunteers, just information.


	10. Chapter 9 Rationalizing

**Disclaimer: **Wouldn't it be really funny if J.K. Rowling actually sued someone for forgetting to put up a disclaimer on their Harry Potter fan fiction? I mean, honestly, does she really need the extra money? And no one really reads disclaimers anyway. And it's not as if they matter, everyone knows J.K.R. doesn't post things on fan fiction websites only on her official website. And quite frankly, if you've read all of this disclaimer, and have gotten to this last sentence, you have way to much time on your hands.

**Chapter 9**

**Rationalizing **

"I've never been close with my family, but they treat me all right. I get into scrapes with Dudley all the time," he said. To Professor Lupin's blank face, he added, "My cousin Dudley that is."

"Ah," Professor Lupin said in acknowledgement. "Please continue."

"Well, my fam, " he said hesitatant, "my relatives didn't exactly discourage it. Because, you see, I'm not really theirs. I mean, sure, I've lived with them almost all my life, but they have no obligation to me."

Hermione made to protest to that statement, the words on the tip of her tongue, when Ron shushed her. He signaled to let Harry speak.

"And it makes sense that Dudley is their favorite. Because, there's favoritism in regular families, and we're certainly not a regular family, and I'm not even close to them. I've screwed up before, and been disciplined too, but, it's not that big of a deal. Aunt Petunia sent me to my cupb," he said, once more hesitating.

Then he figured they already knew about the cupboard, so what was the point in not mentioning it. Hermione would bring it up anyway. "My cupboard without food. And Uncle Vernon smacks me around every so often, but it's not a big issue. I can take it all right. And it's only when I do something wrong. Not for no reason, like if I was being abused or something," he said with a harsh laugh. No one laughed with him. There was dead silence.

There was a pause as Harry thought of what to say next. He fidgeted nervously in his seat, but looked solely at his hands, which were in his lap. The fire crackled in the background, and the sky outside darkened with the passing time.

Professor Lupin's thoughts were racing a mile an hour. Harry was clearly portraying all the signs of an abused child. He had suspected something, but this was much much worse.

For if it was mild neglect, Harry wouldn't be acting like this. He wouldn't be avoiding all of their eyes. And unless he had seriously misjudged Harry's character, he wouldn't have hid neglect.

In fact, from the sounds of it, he had used neglect as his cover story all these years. And even now, he was making it seem like less then it was. But Professor Lupin was not stupid, and he knew half truths when he heard them. The part that saddened him was the sincerity in Harry's words. They weren't half truths to him.

Harry sat with his thoughts never ending. He didn't know what to say, for there was so much to say. A specific example, he was trying to think of. Something that proved his point. He deserved punishment. And then, suddenly, he had the instant captured in his mind,_ like a snapshot in time._

"Like, well, Ron and Hermione know about second year, when they locked me up in my room for ruining their dinner party. You see, I came down, and Dobby, a house elf (he added this for Professor Lupin's benefit), smashed the pudding. If it wasn't for me, and my _freakishness _Dobby would have never come, and it would have never been ruined."

"And I mean, yeah, I was hungry, but it wasn't a big deal. It was like, an eye for an eye. I ruined their dinner party, so I didn't get a lot of food. It makes sense."

Harry paused slightly and then continued, "And, there was this one time, when I got into a fight with Dudley, and well, I lost. So, my punishment was to keep the injuries. To learn not to do it again."

'Dudley went to the doctor,' was left unsaid. But, there was no doubt in anyone's mind that it was the fact.

Harry looked at Professor Lupin with eyes that were simply pleading understanding. But Professor Lupin couldn't understand the twisted logic.

With a hoarse sounding voice, Professor Lupin choked out, "Anything else?"

Harry brightened slightly at that comment, thinking what he had said made no impact in Professor Lupin's mind. That Professor Lupin needed more examples.

He was wrong.

"Well, I mean, not really, nothing important." There were many other occasions that were important. But Harry couldn't admit them, not even to himself.

They fell once more into silence. Hermione's face was pasty white. Whether it be a sheet of fury, shock, or heartbreak, no one would ever know. Her thoughts were racing a million a minute. _'He was… abused. They didn't feed him, they favored his cousin, they hit him occasionally (I really should make him mention that), they favored him cousin, they left him injured from his whale of a cousin, they didn't care…. How could I not have noticed?' _her thoughts ran on.

Ron's expression left observers less curious. There were no doubts what he was feeling. Rage, hate, venom…. There were many terms to describe it. His indignant thoughts too ran wild. _'He could have told us. We would have believed him. We would have helped him. But does he even believe he deserves help? Or needs it? How could they? How could they to… Harry? I can't call him family, not in relation to them. It's an injustice. They'll pay for this. He won't go back there. Screw Dumbledore, he's not his guardian. If Harry wants to come over, he will. I won't let him go back there.' _While his thoughts raced from sadness to rage, his main was indignant anger. How could this have happened?

Professor Lupin's thoughts were so varied and yet so distinctly about the same thing. Harry. Simply, Harry.

Harry's thoughts were flying. _'I told them what they wanted to know. Professor Lupin has to understand that Ron and Hermione were overreacting. Professor Lupin's alright. He won't overreact. He knows about discipline and all. He's a teacher, he won't get all upset over a few punishments.'_

Harry dared not think what would happen if he did.

"Get up," said the voice of a shaking Remus Lupin. Despite Harry's proclamation that he wasn't being abused, he flinched as Remus reached for his arm.

It was as though time had stopped. The fire crackling near went silent in their minds. That was near proof. Wasn't it? He flinched.

'_Damn it! He won't beat me, he won't beat me, he won't beat me….'_

Hermione suppressed a sob. Ron began to shake with anger. Professor Lupin took a deep breath and tried to control his rage on Harry's behalf.

While all this was going on, there was still dead silence. _How on earth do you react to that?_

In the next moment, Harry lifted his chin a millimeter, met their eyes for the first time in the confrontation, and stood to leave.

Professor Lupin stopped in shock at Harry's near defiant reaction. Daring them to say something nearly. And then he realized, this was how Harry avoided situations such as these, with a mask of worthiness. This wasn't Harry. This was the boy-who-lived.

And despite his friendship with Harry, and his never dying bond with his parents, Professor Lupin was beginning to realize, they were two separate things. The boy-who-lived was a mask and Harry was the person beneath.

And with that startling revelation, Professor Lupin led Harry off to…

_**Author's Note:** _I have in fact abandoned this story. I apologize if you wanted to read more. However, I am rewriting the story under the name Deepest Fear Revealed: Rewritten. It will contain the same concepts in a better writing style. I have it all plotted out. Please head over and read my rewritten version. Any questions, please PM me.


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